You can give this funny birthday card to virtually anyone: moms, friends; fans of live comedy, former mayor of Houston Annise Parker, three of the 47 people in Broken Social Scene, your mail carrier, Danny DeVito, your nemesis, a sentient Roomba, my grea — OK, you get it.

Size: 5” × 7”

Inside: blank for your message

Paper: heavyweight matte (white)

Envelope: speckled kraft paper.